SIMPLE ACCEPTANCE
Every so often I go through periods of time
where I feel a little down, a little blue.
Does that ever happen to any of you?
There I was lamenting all the friends and family that I have living in
other states in the United States, and how Gary and I just got through visiting
San Diego where the weather rarely gets hotter that 85% in the summer, or
colder than 65% in the winter. I was in
the midst of a bit of a funk when I said, wait a minute, let's break out of
this train of thought. What do I
have to be grateful for right here, right now in this place. Immediately Gary, my family here, came to
mind; Gary and I have a great home with flowers inside and out, and I live in a
place with virtually no humidity. I am
actually pretty darn lucky. It’s always good to be thankful for what you do
have.
The lesson today is: Simple acceptance. So much can be
learned from accepting things as they are, right here in this moment. Can you change anything that happens in this
present moment? Yes, that’s why Ernest Holmes says the Principle is not bound
by precedent. However, if something has
already happened, you can’t change it. If you have an accident can anything
change the fact that you had an accident You can wrack your brain for what you
could have done differently, to avoid the accident, but the fact remains, it
happened, it is a fact that can’t be denied.
One year I was working at broadway department
store when my mother came in, all frazzled.
It seems she had just had her purse stolen on the way into the
store. Two men on a motorcycle came
driving directly at her, and as she stepped back and through her arms out, the
man on the rear of the bike stole her purse.
When my dad heard about the accident my dad said, you should have put
your umbrella through his wheel. Well a) It wasn’t raining, and b) he wasn’t
there. It was a very harrowing
experience. The whole point being, what happened had happened.
What about those times when something happens and it's not your
fault, the dog, the kids, your spouse does something that makes it impossible
for you to, simply accept something. How
does this differ from being a doormat, from letting people walk all over
you? Or letting them get away with doing
things they shouldn't be doing. It comes
from expressing your feelings regularly, from talking and setting rules,
consequences and perhaps rewards. The
bottom line is to respond, in the moment, in a calm matter rather than in a
knee jerk reaction. Much of the
"attitude" we receive, is in direct response to the attitude that our
annoyance has put us in to. What we are
sending out, we are getting back.
During the school year I usually spend a few hours a day tutoring
for the Kennewick school district. What
I find to be the case, time after time, is a student who is supposedly a terror
in a classroom, that seems very reasonable in a room working with me alone. I
can imagine that teacher in a classroom with thirty-five kids, five of which
may be exhibiting behavior very much like the student I am now tutoring and
that teacher's response might not be so silently accepting, but, that teacher
is accepting the fact that their needs to be a new experience for that child.
We can never keep doing the same thing when a problem exists and
expect it to change. Sometimes simple
acceptance is like the prayer that says,
God grant me
the serenity
to accept the
things I cannot change;
courage to
change the things I can;
and wisdom to
know the difference.
Simple acceptance may be the acceptance of needing to make a
change in how things are at present. We
can't change the exact moment we that just happened, but we can plan for the
future.
If there is something in your life you would like to change,
sometimes taking a class at the center is a way to explore that change. My first class came when I was going through
a divorce and I always said it was my poor man's counseling sessions. I learned new ideas and shared concepts with
other like minded individuals. One of my
best friends as a result of the class was also going through troubles at home. My first husband and I separated, her
marriage stayed together and became stronger and better.
Dr David Walker, past president of International Centers for
Spiritual Living wrote a book called, "You are Enough".
In it he says, on p. 28: “You are enough because you exist, and it's that simple. And it is out of your enough-ness that you can get a new job, experience love and success, and build a financial portfolio that satisfies you. Enough-ness is the tool.”
Sometimes simple acceptance requires taking care of things that
might happen, covering all the bases, planning ahead and knowing what the Truth
really is.
A man came back from the animal shelter with a black lab. Many people had heard about him on the news
and had come to the shelter as well, but after all of the prospective
candidates had been interviewed, he had ended up with the dog. He wasn't even sure why. The dog had come with a collar, a dish, some
dog food, a bed, several brand new yellow tennis balls, and a letter in a
sealed envelope.
After having the dog home for a week in his brand new home, he
wasn't sure why he had even decided to get a dog and he and Reggie, that was
the dog's name, weren't even bonding.
The shelter had said to give it two weeks before he made any decisions
as to whether he would keep the dog or not.
Two weeks went by and there still seemed to be no connection. He was looking for the number of the animal
shelter when he discovered it in the closet where he had thrown the bed and the
tennis balls. He threw it out into the
room and immediately the dog ran to it and laid down on it. There was almost a smile on the dog's face
but all of a sudden he turned with his back to the man. As he picked up the phone to dial the
shelter, his hand came upon the sealed envelope that came with the dog. Her is
what it said:
To Whoever Gets My Dog: Well, I can't say that I'm
happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be
opened by Reggie's new owner.
I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this,
it means I just got
back from my last car ride with my Lab after
dropping him off at the
shelter. He knew something was different. I have
packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a
trip, but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong. And
something is wrong... which is why I have to go to try to make it right.
So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it
will help you bond with him and he with you.
First, he loves tennis balls...the more the merrier.
Next, commands.
Reggie knows the obvious ones - "sit," "stay,"
"come," "heel." He knows hand signals: "back" to
turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and
"over" if you put your hand out right or left. "Shake"
for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five.
He knows
"ball" and "food" and "bone" and
"treat" like nobody's
business.
I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens
his ears like little
pieces of hot dog.
Finally, give him some time. I've never been married,
so it's only been
Reggie and me for his whole life. He's gone
everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you
can.
He just loves to be around people, and me most
especially.
Which means that this transition is going to be hard,
with him going to live with someone new.
And that's why I need to share one more bit of info
with you....
His name's not Reggie.
I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped
him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie. He's a smart dog,
he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. but I
just couldn't bear to give them his real name.
For me to do that, it seemed so final, that
handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never
see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up
this letter, it means everything's fine. But if someone else is reading
it, well... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll
help you bond with him.
Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his
demeanor if he's been giving you problems.
His real name is Tank. Because that is what I
drive.
Again, if you're reading this and you're from the
area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't
make "Reggie" available for adoption until they received word
from my company commander. See, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one
I could've left Tank with... and it was my only real request of the Army upon
my deployment to Iraq, that they make one phone call to the shelter... in
the "event"... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption.
Luckily, my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed.
He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made
good on his word.
Well, this letter is getting too downright depressing,
even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I
was writing it for a wife and kids and family. but still, Tank has been my
family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my
family.
And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your
family and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved
me.
That unconditional love from a dog is what I took with
me to Iraq as an
inspiration to do something selfless. He was my
example of service and of love. I hope I honored him by my service to my
country and comrades.
All right, that's enough. I deploy this evening and
have to drop this
letter off at the shelter.
Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give
him an extra kiss
goodnight every night from me.
Thank you,
Paul Mallory
The man went in to the closet and pulled out a tennis
ball and called, "Tank" do you
want this tennis ball. Immediately his
demeanor changes and the man started rubbing his ears, to which tank was taking
to very kindly.
Sometimes acceptance means finding out all the facts,
realizing the truth in a situation.
Someone you love dies, a divorce takes place, you move
to a new location, you change jobs, whenever a new event comes in to your life
it may take some adjustment. Wayne Dyer in his deck of inspiration cards says
to Believe in Universal Timing. "You must believe in a Universe
that's created and guided by an intelligence greater than your ego--a Universe
where there can be no accidents. When an
idea's time has come, it can't be stopped.
And the reverse of this is true: An idea whose time hasn't come can't be
created."
You may be looking for a new job and even go out on an
interview, only to not receive that job.
You might be disappointed, but when the next interview comes along and
you get that new and better job, you realize that everything happened for a
reason.
The movie, "Forrest Gump" is a perfect example of a man who understood
simple acceptance. Everywhere he went,
he never worried about a thing, but the best always happened for him. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you
never know what you are going to get".
I think that line could be changed to say, you never
know exactly what you are going to get.
When ever we do an affirmative prayer, we put into mind what it is we
desire to have happen, letting go and knowing that the highest and best in that
instance will manifest.
So, actively “Treat and move your feet.” This is an appropriate
reminder to simply accept what you have declared is done and to put in to
motion (move your feet) in the direction of the desired results requested.
Simple acceptance and acceptance with gratitude, no
matter what the outcome brings the contentment of having even more things to be
thankful about.
